coz it’s just so damn irritating.

so irritating.

and i thought staying in s’pore might be a good idea. pfft.

alexis, ang, sarah are like overseas. so half the fun is gone.

steph is … generally being steph. always not there. and always busy.

ngaim is working. and i’ll celebrate the day she’s not working.

so it’s just des, min and zanthe.

but still. this holiday feels so … plain. like nothing’s going on at all. which is really sad since this is the only one holiday that i’m not burdened with anything. gosh. this sucks.

i want to do something exiciting and the only person who does that with me is off doing crazy things in NYC now.

i need new crazy friends.

anyway. hangover feels like shit. i’m still not exactly over it. D: still feeling dizzy. why oh why did i accept some old geezers dare to down a cup of iceless scotch whiskey? oh well. the effect wasn’t immediate. i only got damn high and drank more. and started singing karaoke with them. and the songs are all like … from the 80s and 90s. oh played pool and giggled my way through the game.

need people to remind me NOT to attend anymore company functional parties that involes on old geezers. not fun.

damn it. i wish i was like some person who can make friends anywhere and everywhere.

rawr.

you know what? i don’t even feel like going partying tonight. my mood is spoiled rotten now. thanks mates.

this letter is dedicated to my BFF CAMMY.

dear cammy,

how’s life? I’m missing you like shit so I’m writing you a letter now. (: hope all’s well for you.

i want to tell you something today. you know, I feel that our friendship is stuck in mud now. i feel like I’m always the one who has to arrange my schedule for you. I’m always the one who gets this message – “i’ll tell ya later, i’mma asking my girlfriend first. if she’s not free, then we go out.” I’m always the last point on your priority list. I’m the one who always have to wait for you. I’m the one who have to sacrifice everything for you. For god’s sake, my parents know you’re my BFF, but your parents just know me as “nikki” – one of the thousands of friends of cammy. how nice. I’m sick of always giving you everything and getting shit back. I’m sick of you not being there for me when I need it, but I need to be there for you. I’m sick of being your plan B.

sometimes I felt as if I’ve given my all into maintaining our friendship, i really do everything. ask your friends would any of them do so much for you as I did for you. yet you just seem to take them for granted. I wrack my brains always trying to inject some form of freshness into everything i give you, and you just accept them, and give me back something that is so uncreative and totally uncomparable.

i really want our friendship to work. we know it’ll be hard with you in SAS and me in RGS, like we’ll both have our own cliques and our own commitments. but it’s unfair for me to always be the one having to make compromise. coz if I don’t, we won’t even have time to meet up and hang out. I hate it when you put your clique before me, coz I never once placed my clique before you. this really hurts me.

I really want our friendship to work out, but I’m sick and tired of having to be the one who have to make compromise.

BFFs. we swore to be there for each other. can you be there for me? let’s just try to work things out. forever isn’t measured in years, it can’t be measured.

xoxo,
nikki.

coz i want to look bootylicious and anorexic at the same time

hahah today’s buffet with min was really great. (: we chatted and ate like nobody’s business. i don’t think i had such fun for such a long time. hahah. but I got called a pig when i got home. hahaha. dang.

anyway. mum signed me up for this weight lose thing coz she thinks that me being of the same weight as her, is unhealthy. i don’t know if she’s the unhealthy one or what. hahah. she’s like 2 cm taller than me and is 1kg thinner than me. and OMG she can fit into my jeans. i’m sure this is something which EVERY girl will hate to happen to her. but dang it did. to me. life’s good. why is mum so frigging skinny and I’m so frigging fat? but well at least she signed me up for a course. (: and she bought me this ultra mini skinny skimpy dress that she say I’ll be able to fit in after I lose off 7kg of weight. I’m looking forward to dropping my weight to 45kg. or less. (:

hahaha. more good movies coming out!

SHERLOCK HOLMES!
ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS 2!
COUPLES RETREAT!
AVATAR!

ok. diet. diet. diet. i hope i can lose 5kg by jan. and another 2kg before CNY! (: yeah. (: i’m gonna do this right. (: sexy dress here I come! (:

turns out i’m just another lazy bimbo

i heard such a funny joke today and it got me laughing and high for 2h. hahaha.

S: let me tell you a joke.
me: uh-huh.
S: JOKE. get it? joke! hahahahah.
me: -stuns for a sec- OMG SO FUNNYYYYY.

and i laughed at this thing for 2h. hahaha but you have to admit. it’s pretty funny. hahah.

rawr.

i have a list of things to do, but I don’t feel like doing anything. and when I don’t do anything, I go like “I’M BORED!”, then someone will ask me out, and I’d say “sorry I’m busy”, and I’d resolve to do something, then, I don’t feel like doing anything again. thanks steph for pointing out I’m just LAZY. hahaha. but she’s worse. heh. (:

i need motivation. hahahaha.

i have this wonderful workout routine that’s supposed to get me slim and hot in 4 weeks, but I’m like doing nothing. hahah. so I’m getting fatter day by day. but what’s so weird is that i could slip on a size XX skirt the other day and the last time I checked, XX was too small for me. so is it just weird or what. anyways i need to exercise. i’m so fat now. D:

1. tidy out winter clothings! (:
2. make a list of winter clothings that I need to get replaced.
3. decide if I should buy the red trench coat which is on offer now.
4. make a list of to-dos that i want to do in bei jing

5. do at least 2h of work daily to keep my brains functioning

6. follow my workout schedule

7.  schedule meetups with girlfriends next week before I fly off!
8. upload photos before I fly off.

9. buy spring/summer 10 clothes before I fly off

that’s about it! (: heh. (:

alrights. off to do 4 now. (:

2012 was a great show. (: and it was so funny last night. the ticket counter messed up the tickets so we ended up with 2 tickets and 1 ticket. so I had to sit alone since mum wants to sit with dad. lol. and I was right in between 2 couples who both happen to be super mushy. such luck. but nonetheless, it was still a great show. (: the effects are just wayy cool and I feel like I’m the one escaping from all that shit. (: the next family outing will be to watch MULAN! (:

damn sad tomorrow’s outing isn’t working out fine. heather and ngaim have some family outing, steph is meeting her travel buddies, kendrick and seok aren’t replying me, nobelle and weiwei are both overseas and peidong won’t go if heather ain’t going. D:

there’s still monday’s new moon to look forward to! (: can’t wait! (:

i had this super weird dream last night. like I was on a cruise with my boyfriend who looks like a mix of oguri shun + lee min ho + robert pattinson. so weird. and oh, it was this double date thing so min and her boyfriend was there too. her boyfriend looks like taylor lautner. and then we were just like playing on the cruise and stuff and my boyfriend was so doting and buying me alot of stuff and he was like just so sweet. like my ideal boyfriend kind of thing. like manly but still sweet and caring. and hahah the rest of the dream is so damn funny and sweet but embarassing to say. ask me if you want to know the rest. but it involves a dare, swimming, cocktails and passionate kissing. hahaha. (: so weird! but anyway… haha.

this is so funny. i just wasted 3 bucks on seventeen. there’s like nothing much in it but I just bought it on impulse when I saw “robert pattinson”. hahah he is hot. well not exactly taylor lautner kinda hot, but you know, his looks are like … quite nice. strong jawlines, intense eyes and fluffy hair. (: and he is not that muscular which is nice. (: hahah i’m going to die of heat on monday I swear. either that or I’ll die from screaming too much. (:

started watching merlin today. and I have to admit. colin morgan looks nice actually. he doesn’t look nice on posters, but he looks nice when he’s acting. haha so weird. but it’s true. (: so alexis, feel happy that I admit colin is hot now. (: but I still think bradley james is pretty cute too. love his accent. (:

alrights. off for dinner!

life’s good. (:

hahah yay I got my life back again. (:

going out with beach clique this sunday. (maybe) I really hope jason does a great job and everyone can come out. (: it’ll be such great fun! gosh I miss everyone. (:

and next monday! (: going out with clique! (: new moon! (: yay i love min and des for coming to fangirl with me. (: hahah we’ll just be like obsessing over taylor’s hot bod. (:

and boo. need to go back to school next friday for cip. D: hahaha. 5h. gosh.

anyway.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY. I LOVE YOU LOADS. THANKS FOR BEING THE GREATEST MUM EVER. (:

going to watch 2012 tonight since mum has been dying to watch it. (: alrights. can’t wait! (:

so many things I want to do next week. (:

NEW MOON!
COUPLES RETREAT!
HAPPY FLIGHT!
I need movie partners! hahaha. who wants to go watch with me? (: just text me. (:

shopping! everywhere is having like end-of-year discounts. (: hahah and I got a LONGGGGG list of stuff to buy. like christmas presents for friends, birthday presents in advance for people like des and sarayoo whose birthday is in jan. (: hahah. I so nice. and yes. birthday present for my sister. (:

CAMWHORE AT ORCHARD WITH THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!
like we were supposed to do these since the post-O’s period. hahaha. let’s do these next week. (:

just hanging out with friends. (: haha I miss everyone. I miss everything. you’ll miss everything if you got stuck at home since 21/11/09. OMG THAT IS LIKE … 2 WEEKS! D:

and what’s sad, as I was telling weikang the other day, THERE ARE NO NICE SHOWS NOW! D: hahaha.

and training stopped. D: i only like went for rj’s training once? argh. D: i swear my skills are like … shit now.

ok life is boring. until something exciting happens.

DAMN I REALLY NEED SOMEONE TO SQUEAL OVER NEW MOON WITH ME! CLIQUE DON’T PANGSEH ME AGAIN! hahaha. I MISS SARAYOO. DAMN IT. HAHAH COME BACK ALEXIS! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO SQUEAL OVER TAYLOR AND ROBERT TOGETHERRRR!

so now. hmmm. whoever watches new moon with me and squeals like shit with me, gets to be my temporary BFF. (:

up for grabs! (:

ok i’m really bored.

I SUDDENLY MISS CHLOE! DANG. hahah.

 

I REALLY HATE FILTHY HYPOCRITES LIKE YOU. YES YOU.

YOU SAID YOU DISLIKE PEOPLE WHO’S ALWAYS SHOWING OFF THEMSELVES AND WHO’S ALWAYS TRYING TO SUCK UP TO OTHERS. YOU ASK ME TO BE MYSELF. YOU ASK ME TO CHANGE. YOU TOLD ME YOU’LL LIKE ME BETTER IF I CHANGED.

FOR GODS SAKE I WAS TRYING TO SAVE OUR FRIENDSHIP. 4 YEARS WORTH OF FRIENDSHIP WITH 2 MORE YEARS TO GO. YEAH. SO I CHANGED.

AND WHAT DO I SEE? JUST DURING THE 2 WEEKS WHEN I’M DOWN WITH H1N1, YOU WNET TO SUCK UP TO EVERYONE. STOLE MY FRIENDS. AND SHOW OFF ALL THAT YOU HAVE. YOU THINK YOUR SO GOOD IN EVERYTHING. YOU WANT THE SPOTLIGHT TO BE ON YOU TOO.

DON’T TRY TO FOOL ME.

YOU KNOW WHAT? TWO CAN PLAY THE GAME. YOU DON’T MESS WITH ME. BITCH.

I KNOW YOU KNOW THEM LONGER THEN I DO, BUT IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN GO BADMOUTH ABOUT ME TO THEM. AND YOU’RE STEALING AWAY ALL THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE MINE. I WISHED YOU DIDN’T COME.

SO PISS OFF BITCH.

stupid filthy hypocrite.

I hate to say this but steph was right. I have no life.

oh yeah. finally back to blogging.

feeling much better now. thanks guys. (: still coughing but no I’m not spreading the disease by coughing. it’s just I’m weak now.

not going for the first ever rj’s training tmrw. damn. I feel so sad. D: wish  I can persuade dad to let me go, but he say I might just faint there considering the fact I even find walking downstairs and getting a newspaper tiring. yeah oh wells. how am I going to regain my strength back! I hate H1N1. I hate NSP. making me go back to school this friday to complete my CIP hours. danm her.

I miss my friends. I miss hanging out with them. I miss talking to them and laughing like crazy retards. alexis is overseas. ngaim is working. steph is overseas too. freya is working(?) xiaomin might be free. sarah tan is free. hahaha yay. (:

I’m so lame.

i’m really having ZERO life now. bet steph is happy her prophecy came true. dang. I WILL get my life back after I fully recover. wait. I’ll be overseas then. with my cousins who have ZERO fashion sense. and I don’t think I’ll dare go out of home in china since like SO many people has caught H1N1 over there. and ohohoh H5N1 is on a rampage in china too. 2 epidemics at one go. how nice. I wish I took up alexis or dharani’s offer to go overseas with them. D: NYC! or even australia! I can like go crazy there. not like stuck in china. but at least I got a student pass to go attend lessons in peking uni. (: and I get to go work in this super cool agency for the movie stars. (: hahah I hope I get to see them. (: thanks cousin for this big favour.

lol.

ok I think I feel better thinking about the “wonderful” future. alrights. back to rest. I need to go walk around to breathe new air. hahaha. tatas.

 

this post is verryyyy late.

thanks to all who made my birthday dinner a blast that night. (: really appreciate that. (:

(: I’m so happy and I hope all of y’all had a great night too. (:

can’t wait for my 18th birthday party. (: